Whew, back to the grind, a five day work week - first one I've worked in several weeks! I've been working on this post for a couple of days, and just haven't had the time to get everything in here... And I have to get all the pics in here, for certain... that's the bloggity-blog feedback I heard from sis Annie, who vacationed with us in sunny Florida. She informed me that she would read my blog more often if I had more PICTURES, like our brother, Rob, does! Well, Annie, here it is, complete with a few pictures of you, so hope you enjoy!

We're home from spending four days in Florida, and brrrrr, with this freezing 2 degree weather here, we're ready to go back! Unfortunately, the weather in Florida was cooler than normal, but not near as cold as it was here in MO. The temps were in the 50s for most of our visit, and here's one of the main reasons why we were in beautiful, sunny Destin:

Dave, Neil and my BIL Matt had a great time fishing, even with the cold weather. What kind of fish is this, you ask? I'm not sure... apparently they caught some sheepshead, red fish, speckled trout, and also some bait fish (little guys that are then used to catch the BIG guys!) And Ann and I had to go to the harbor midday Saturday to meet them with some bait (a bag of sand fleas -blech!!) that they forgot in the freezer at the condo.

In addition to the fishing, there was a little of this:

I said a "little" of this, because you will notice that only one of us was in the water; it isn't surprising that an 11-year-old had no qualms when it came to the cold water, while the rest of us sensible (and boring) grownups only got wet up to our ankles! These were taken on our first full day there, when the weather was sunny and mid to upper 60s. Jace met some other kids from Indiana and had a great time in the surf.

We made it to the beach all three days we were there, and although it was too chilly to swim, it was still beautiful!

We had a quiet New Year's Eve; we all went to eat at a local restaurant, and then the five of us ended the evening at home, while Ann and Matt stayed and listened to a band and rang in the New Year. We enjoyed the rest of our meals in the condo, which was beautiful and roomy, with our own private hot tub on the roof.

It was a great time, and I was so glad that Paige and Neil could both go with us, despite their busy schedules. We will only have Paige at home for another couple of weeks and then she starts her second semester at Jewell. It was wonderful to have Ann and Matt join us; I thought it would be fairly close for them, but it was still an 8 hour drive from Charlotte NC, but I think they were glad they made the trip too.

Jace (not surprisingly) said the ocean was the best part of the trip, and he can't wait until we go again. Hopefully we will go again this summer, when it is much warmer!

What a Difference a Year Makes....

As I have been writing this post, the title, an old song from the '50s, kept playing in my head... I realize the song is actually about the difference "a DAY" makes, but for my purposes here we'll stick with "a year". I began writing the paragrahs below a few days before 2009 came to a close, but it has been hard to find time to write over the last few days. What a year it has been, in so many ways. The media has talked a lot about all of the negative things that 2009 brought, and how 2010 will be better. And that's certainly true, I hope, for our economy, and our nation, and our world. For me, it has been a year of changes, and a year of growth; last year I had no idea how much my life would change in the next 365 days- in both big and small ways, but all have been very important.

At Christmas-time last year, my relationship with my husband was seemingly fine on the surface, but in retrospect it is easy to see just how very fractured it was - two very independent people who were not communicating, and leading totally separate lives in the same home. There's no need to go into a lot of detail, but on Christmas last year we separated and planned to divorce. Why would I even go there in this post? Only to say that things have turned around in an amazing way, and one that only God could make happen. The time apart was beneficial, for both of us; we both realized that we did want to work things out and stay married. We went through couples counseling for several months, and learned a lot about each other and ourselves, and how we best communicate. Things aren't perfect, but they are so much better, and I know we are both committed to working together and continuing to strengthen our relationship.

Financially, 2009 was a BIG year for me/us, and not because we hit the lottery (although wouldn't that be sweet!). Like many people, the economy had us concerned about debt, retirement and more. And then a simple conversation in mid-summer of this year (It started when I emailed Dave an article about getting out of credit card debt, and he replied back with a link to Dave Ramsey and said a coworker was going through the program) rocketed us into a whole new way of looking at our money and financial situation. We've made paying off debt a priority - downsizing to less expensive vehicles, stopping the frivolous day-to-day spending, and really controlling our finances instead of letting them control us. We bought the DVD kit for Financial Peace, and then also went through the 13-week class at a local church this summer/fall. Now we're helping to facilitate the same DVD series at our own church, starting in January.

Another area of personal growth for me this past year resulted from a decision to NOT do something. My family and a few close friends were aware that late this summer I was considering going back to school, to get my nursing degree/license. I have a Masters in Healthcare Administration, have been in my job in women's health for about eight years, and I love it. But I don't have a clinical background, which is a first for this position. The prior directors in my job have all been nurses. It really has been something of concern for me, although my boss has told me regularly that she thinks I worry way too much about it; that I bring so much to the job and I don't need to worry that I'm not a nurse.

Truth be told, I know these feelings run much deeper than nurse vs. non-nurse; I am constantly thinking about what I need to do to make myself "good enough"... never satisfied with what and who I am and think the way to improve is to volunteer for more, or get more education under my belt, or accrue more awards, or whatever else it is that will make me "better". And a nursing license was the thing that would boost me to that next level. So, off I went, gathering information on what it would take to go back to school. When I learned what it would take, my first thought was "I can do that"; but then I really started thinking, and praying about it. I know and believe I could do it - continue working and go to school for the next two years - but at what cost? Jace is 11, and I would be too immersed in school/work to really be there for him. Dave and I have worked on our relationship, but this would definitely rachet up the stress level. So when I made the decision that I am not going back to school, it was with a sense of peace, and knowledge that this IS the best thing for me, and my family. And I've definitely not regretted or second-guessed myself about it... it feels so GOOD to not do that.

This past year I've been busy in the kitchen, for the first time ever; learning to cook has been so fun for me, and something I'm really proud of! I've blogged about it quite a bit, both the humorous part of it (how my family can't believe I can actually cook!) and the emotional part of it (my mom and what a great cook she was)and I'm looking forward to learning more this year. One thing that I need to focus on is some healthy but yummy meals; my BIL Luke got me a couple of great cookbooks for Christmas, so that's where I'll start.

Those are some of the things that have made 2009 such a transitional year for me. Honestly, I think I've changed more this year, at age 38, than I have in any other year in my adult life. I told my boss the other day that I'm not sure what has changed in me this year, but that I've seen a shift in SO many parts of my life that it can't be a coincidence. I'm looking at things at work differently than I used to, and seeing different and better results because of it. I've seen similar things in my efforts at home, and in my relationships.

It would be easy to chalk these changes up to a growing maturity on my part, but that's not the main or only answer. A big part of the changes this year have been a change in my heart, and in opening myself up to what God wants for me, instead of thinking that I have all the answers and all of the control. I've been a Christian all my life, and have gone to church, and prayed, and said that I believe in God's hand in my life, but I've never really felt like I've seen it at work. But this year, I gradually started realizing that this was part of the change I was seeing. And the more I was open to it, the more change I saw, and the more PEACE and growth I felt. I was in a training at church for leading small groups a few weeks ago, and one of the assistant pastors talked about his experience years before and how he had waited for God to speak to him, and thought it would be some BIG thing... but he discovered that it isn't, that God talking to us is often just that small voice, that nudge, that thing that we often chalk up to coincidence. As I listened to what he said, even though I've heard that before, it was so true for me - I've seen God at work in my life this year, and it is so exciting to me that I want to see more.

So I begin this new year with both peace and excitement in my heart, and a focus on life that I've never truly had before. My prayer is that I continue to be open to what God wants in my life, for me, my husband, and my family. I don't know what all that will entail, but I'm looking forward to the journey.

We are in Florida right now, enjoying some time with the kids and my sis Ann and her hubby Matt. It was a quiet New Year's Eve, very nice. Will post pics soon, we are going out to the beach in a few minutes to let Jace get in the water on the boogie board for just a FEW minutes. He's been dying to get out there, even though it is chilly while we are here. Happy New Year! More soon on some new year resolutions!

Merry Christmas 2009

We celebrated our Christmas with the kids last night; it has been great to see Paige a couple of times this week, now that she is home from school for a month. We will all be going to see Dave's mom for lunch tomorrow - wanted to get some pics of the kids to put in the cute holiday frame we bought for her. I realized a few weeks ago that we wouldn't have an opportunity to take pics until Paige was home for Christmas break, so our family Christmas card didn't happen this year - I may do a New Year's card to send out- better late than never!

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is going to Christmas Eve service at our church, and last night Dave, Jace and I attended the 9pm modern worship service. It was some great music, all traditional carols with a modern edge. The service ended with the congregation lighting candles and singing "Silent Night" - it is so easy to get caught up in all the flurry of the holiday, and this always brings me right back to the heart of Christmas.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful day, and you were able to be with those you love. Merry Christmas!

Looks like Maxine and I have something in common this Christmas... (At least I didn't post one of her cynical male-bashing quotes, or something about middle age and saggy boobs)

Merry (almost) Christmas!

I'll Be Home for Christmas...

Bing Crosby's recording of this Christmas classic is truly my absolute favorite holiday song; it was recorded in 1943 during war-time, when many soldiers weren't able to be with their families for Christmas, and the line "if only in my dreams" was their difficult reality.

I think we must have had a recording of this particular song when I was growing up, as well. I have a memory of sitting by myself in the living room, with just the Christmas tree lights on (all green lights that year), listening to and singing this song. It makes me nostalgic, and even a little melancholy, to hear it every year; makes me think of Christmases past, and all of the memories over the years.

I'm fortunate to be able to see almost all of my family every year around Christmas, since we all get together the weekend before the actual holiday. Christmas 2009 with my parents, siblings and our extended families was a wonderful time. We missed Thom, who was working, and also didn't get to see as much of Susan and her family because of Landon's basketball tournament that kept them away until Saturday evening.

Saturday night we ate a wonderful dinner, opened presents and just generally enjoyed each others' company. Here are some of the highlights of Gasaway Family Christmas 2009:

Now we're back home and I'm enjoying this short work week! My Christmas shopping is complete, and we're ready to celebrate Christmas with the kids in a few days. Happy holidays to everyone, and more Christmas updates soon.

Julie and Julia (and Nancy... ha!)

In my post yesterday I mentioned that I rented the movie "Julie and Julia"; I really enjoyed it, one of my favorite movies in the past couple of years. If you haven't seen it, be prepared for a typical feel-good Nora Ephron flick (think You've Got Mail or Sleepless in Seattle) - but who doesn't like to feel good sometimes? I do!

The movie bounces back and forth between Julie Powell's story and the story of Julia Child, and how she came to be one of America's most beloved culinary figures. Julia Child's story takes place in the 1940s and 50s, while Julie is a late-20-something in current day NYC, who had grand ambitions of being a journalist but has instead ended up in a thankless job as a customer service rep for a local government office.

Here's the story in a nutshell - Julie is a foodie, and loves to cook as a stress-reliever. So, she decides to embark on a year-long quest to make every one of the 500+ dishes in Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking in only 365 days. She starts a blog to detail her daily cooking experiments, and over the year she amasses a huge following, which leads to instant fame and multiple book, TV and other offers! And really, in this day and age of instant reality celebrity, is it that surprising? Anyway, cute movie, and now I'm looking forward to reading the book (yes, that's her book, the one this movie was based on, in part) as I had some unanswered questions about the movie.

Anyhoo, the story captured and held my attention in a new way, since I've started coming into my own (somewhat) in the kitchen! Of course most of what she did was way over my ability level - lots of extravagant dishes that had many, many steps, any of which would almost certainly cause a disaster in my kitchen. But it was a great movie, very interesting. Did you know that Julia Child, one of the most well-known cooks/chefs of our time, did not learn how to cook until age 37?!? Ha! I'm only a year behind her, at 38; who knows what I'll accomplish!

But seriously, I have a long way to go, even to master cooking for my family and a few friends. Although I have learned how to prepare several yummy main dishes over the past few months, I really have not yet attempted to orchestrate an entire MEAL at one time. Dave is a wonderful cook, and as he has said many times, it is the timing of everything that is really one of the most crucial things about preparing a meal. Watching him in action is pretty impressive - he is very natural at prepping, chopping, sauteing, and all those things that look so easy until you TRY it. But I'm getting there, with continued practice! You know, practice makes things perfect - or at least makes them edible!

I've found all kinds of recipes on the internet, and I may be getting a cookbook for Christmas, from our family gift exchange at my folks' house this weekend. That was one of the suggestions I gave on my list. Hopefully it isn't a Julia Child cookbook, I don't think I'm ready for her yet. Anybody have any favorite cookbooks that you would recommend I buy? I'm open to suggestions. Bon appetit!

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things...

Ok, so it isn't really a Christmas song, but it does speak of winter, snowflakes, mittens and all those things that make you think of this time of year. I have had a great week so far, and it is only Wednesday!

There's nothing big to report, life is just plugging along. But as I sat at home last night I realized that some little things have made me happy this week, and I should take the time to make a list of them. I'm a worrier by nature, and my first inclination is to worry about things that might not even happen! But I try not to do that, and sometimes I just need to take a deep breath and time to be thankful for the small things. Here are a few of mine that I thought of last night:

1. Candy Cane Hershey Kisses - Have you tried these little delightful pieces of Christmas joy?? Yummmm. I meant to stick a few in my lunch box today, to enjoy at work. Now I guess I'll just have to eat double when I get home tonight. Ha!!
2. Guilty pleasure magazine subscription - I just received my second issue of Rolling Stone, and I am so excited! The only thing I've subscribed to in the last few years is SHAPE magazine, and let's face it - that's not a guilty pleasure, that is me thinking if I get this &*#% magazine every month it is going to compel me to thumb through it and actually DO some of the routines! I love music, and always read our friend Garry's RS issues when we're visiting their family. So when Jace had a magazine fundraiser a couple of months ago, I decided I would just subscribe to it myself.
3. Alone time and a chick flick - With Dave traveling a bit more each week, and Jace at his dad's a couple of nights a week, I rented "Julie and Julia" last night and watched it while cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. Great movie (more on that later) and just a relaxing evening.
4. New camera - I received an early Christmas gift, a new Canon camera! My husband won some award points through work, and generously split them with me (what a sweetie!) so I could get a new point-and-shoot camera. It arrived yesterday, and I am so excited about the quality of pictures, so much better than the ones I've had.
5. Christmas classics on TV - One of my favorite childhood memories of Christmas is the television specials - Frosty the Snowman, the Burl Ives' Rudolph special, with the Bumble, the Land of Misfit Toys, etc. I love those, and always like to try to catch them each year. This year Dave turned me on to some old black-and-white Christmas classics for the first time as well - "Holiday Inn" (Bing Crosby and Danny Kay) and "White Christmas" are the two I've watched so far.

Just taking time to think about those little things puts me in a good mood. I have so much to be thankful for - yep, all these little things, but more importantly my family, friends and health - and this year more than ever I am committed to keeping that in mind.

Happy holidays!